Riding at Rocky Hill has to be one of the most entertaining ways to kill off an afternoon that I know of. This ride was no exception - although it might not have ever happened.

There have been rumors going around for a while that the ranch is going to close, or has closed. Checking their website everything looked good, so I hooked up with Marcus and Bill to test ourselves against the best it had to offer. We met up at 9 at Central Market, grabbed some surprisingly good breakfast tacos, and headed out. Its about an hour east of Austin, just past Bastrop.

When we pulled in, there were a lot more cars than usual in the back parking lot - the ranch hosts the renfest “Excalibur Faire” in a dedicated space before you get to the trails. There were, however, very few bike-racked cars in the saloon lot, and the bar itself was all shuttered up. We pulled in and checked the signs - the cashbox was still there, and there was a sign that the bar was closed until April 14th, but that the trails were open until the 13th. Very weird. Not having the bar there for after-ride food-n-beer was a downer, but we went ahead and paid our way in ($6 each and well worth it), got geared up, and headed for the trails.

It was an amazing day. Absolutely beautiful, in fact. Friday had been a bit wet, but come Saturday morning the sun was shining, there were just enough clouds in the sky to provide intermittent breeze and shade, and it stayed in the 70s for most of the ride - maybe low 80s, but still better than the 100 or so degrees we had the last time Marcus and I came out here.

We head through the campgrounds and take Grey’s Way up to the first waterstop. Considering that Fat Chuck’s (the alternate way up) is a quad-killer even under the best of circumstances, we unanimously avoided this mile-long series of damp rocky uphills. Its only about 200 feet of climb according to my ForeRunner, but it’ll kill you nonetheless.

Once up, we’re at the main waterstop. This is at the SW corner of the main part of the ranch, and from here you head off to the east and basically keep going through the trail system until you’ve had enough (or until you do them all). After each major trail, you can bail West and follow the side of the property back down to the water stop, or keep going for the next one, zig-zagging North until you get to the fenceline. We did the whole system, about sixteen miles by the bike odometer, ~14.8 by GPS (there was a lot of twisty single track).

Well, almost the whole system. It wasn’t too muddy when we got there, which was very nice - slick enough to keep you on your toes and get the bike dirty without being outright dangerous or disgusting. We didn’t do the first little loop, but headed up the jeep road until we got to Off The Lip, one of the two remaining intermediate-rated trails (the other was Fat Chuck’s). It’s fun, a lot of nice twisty single-track with some fun drop-offs every now and then.

It turns out that I’d lost a lot of my nerve. I haven’t been on my bike much in the last year, and the last few times I’d ridden were either just before my wedding - when I couldn’t get scratched up for the photos - or coming up on the Motorola Marathon - when I was paranoid about hurting something. It took me a couple of hours to really start to get my groove back, especially about taking some of the ranch’s downhill runs. They’re not crazy, but they are technical.

Anyway, so we came out of Off The Lip and headed straight into Longhorn Loop, which is pretty tame but awfully pretty. Off the Loop into Tris Cross, another nice pleasant run. I was having to work hard coming up hill - my quads need a lot more work. I’m in a lot better shape than I used to be, but there’s nothing quite like RHR to show you exactly where your weaknesses lie.

After Triss Cross we did Omar’s Hollow, which isn’t one we do every time - but it should be! There were two or three really fun creek crossings, about 10 feet wide and 8-10 inches deep. Some great dips, and some beautiful scenery. Coming into the hay meadow we rode through a field of Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush that was almost overwhelming; it felt a lot like the poppy scene from the Wizard of Oz, even if the tiredness was self-induced rather than drug-induced.

That covered most of the property. From then its just a few more miles to the West fence line, down Avenue of the Pines, Miracle Mile, and we’re back to the waterstop. We took Mini Me rather than the expert-rated Black Track, bypassed the Wall (hard on a good day, next-to-impossible when its slick with mud and we’ve done three hours of riding), and headed out.

When we got back to the bar, the whiteboard was down and large black “No Tresspassing - Bike Trails Temporarily Closed” signs were up. I guess we just made it! Our overall speed was pretty slow, but there was a good amount of resting and chatting going on - not to mention some pretty slick rocks to navigate. All told, we had a fantastic time; I can’t wait for the next opportunity to go out and play in the mud.

Distance: 16 miles
Time: 3:45
GPS File

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