I had another doctor visit today; turned out to be a reasonably long one, but somewhat productive. The results from my latest labs had come back. I don’t have Hep, HIV, West Nile, or anything else significant that was tested for. However, I did have some elevated liver readings. I also have referrals to a cardiology specialist and an infectious disease specialist. We’re still not sure which one is more likely to be the culprit, so my doctor’s playing both sides. And, of course, it could be both - this wouldn’t be the first time I had two unrelated conditions that played together to baffle diagnosticians (the first time was about 15 years ago when I was in the hospital for over a week with CMV/Measles). Right now the odd readings from the echocardiogram are trumping the odd blood readings, so I’m going to the cardiologist first. I did get to have my first ECG today though, which makes one less thing that the cardiologist will have to do when I see him.

I’m getting pretty frustrated at this. When I was in the doctor’s office going over my daily notes, and admitting to some of the problems that I’ve been having, I have to admit that felt like crying more than once. It’s … both embarrassing and humbling to come face to face with weakness like this. And to think that over the last few years I’ve made a conscious effort to become stronger, more self-aware and fitter, precisely to avoid these kind of feelings; well, its ironic to say the least.

I know I’ll kick this eventually. I have to. I just hope it doesn’t kick me too many times on the way down first.

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